Archive for May, 2012


Adele – 21

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

21 (2011)

I didn’t plan on writing anything today, because I’m sooo tired, but here I am, being a good boy.

Adele might seem a strange choice, following the stylings of Joy Division and Drake. But I’m a bit bipolar when it comes to music (and perhaps in a broader sense?). But that question is not the subject of this post.

Adele…I can’t remember a single artist in recent memory that me and all of my friends listened to, along with all of their friends, all of their grandmothers and nieces and uncles and peoples of all stripes and colors and folks of different spokes and other such whatnots, along with anyone else you freaking asked. In fact, Adele is the artist that has come closest to achieving world peace through her music (maybe). I’m always late to hop on a bandwagon, and I didn’t listen to Adele until the beginning of this year, maybe. Then I heard the songs and was like, “oh yeah. I’ve heard all this before.” And I wanted to talk to all my friends about Adele, and they would give me quizzical looks, and tell me Adele was so 2011.

No. She’s. Not.

Anyway…coolstorybro. That’s all have to say about Adele. Not really. Let’s see if I can make it through his rambling without mentioning her amazing voice. Oh wait…

Yeah, Adele has an amazing voice. Probably one of  the most amazing female voices I have heard. It is simply stunning in its power, especially in “Rolling in the Deep”.

This album has a lot of highlights. My favorites are “Rolling in the Deep”, “Rumor Has It”, “Turning Tables”, “Set Fire to the Rain”, and the cover of “Lovesong”, which took a while to grow on me. I’m also quite partial to “Hiding My Heart” (Yeah. I admit it). As a sidenote, “Someone Like You” is excellent crying yourself to sleep music, and now and forevermore joins the pantheon of such inscrutable as “I Will Always Love You” and “How Do I Live (Without You)”, which, if you’re like me, has soaked more than your share of pillows.

Anyway, I digress. Honestly, I don’t know what to say about this album, because I feel like everyone’s heard it and I have nothing useful to say about it. I think it might have won a Grammy. That is, a trophy of some sort, not a grandma. Anyway, it is late, and I must sleep.


Drake – Take Care

Monday, May 14, 2012

Take Care (2011)

I don’t know how to phrase this but…sigh…I like Drake.

There, I said it. Haters are gonna hate, but there’s something endearing about this Canadian (or maybe American?) rapper I can’t place my finger on. Maybe I sympathize with him, in some strange way. Yeah, I’m not millionaire (it’s only four figures when they tax me), and I don’t have sex four times a week (as alluded to in “Marvin’s Room”). But for some reason, this album speaks to me, and it’s nice to sit back and chill out to good beats and a good flow.

Damn…the beats. The beats are absolutely stellar on this album, from the first lines of “Over my Dead Body” to “The Ride”. There’s a ream of amazing guest artists that almost steal the show (Rihanna, The Weekend, Nicki Manaj, Lil Wayne, and André 3000, the latter’s whose rapping borders on poetic brilliance in “The Real Her”, perhaps my favorite track on the album, in close contention with “Crew Love”).

I’ve listened to this album many times through, and haven’t grown tired of it yet. For a while, I’d play “Over My Dead Boyd” in the car real loud after I got off work each day, and it would take me away. I’ve listened to that one so much that I can almost recite the lyrics verbatim (even if I feel utterly ridiculous doing so).

Undeniably, there are several down tracks, but for the most part, Take Care is solid throughout, especially from the first track through “Marvin’s Room”. Even if the lyrics are lackluster at points, Drake’s sincerity more than makes up for it. Besides, it’s the general feel that appeals to me most. Take Care accomplishes that and then some.


Arcade Fire – Funeral

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Funeral (2004)

This is one of the only albums I can think of (maybe the only one) that infuses and intermixes happiness, sadness, childhood memories, and intensity that can be, at the same time, uplifting and heartbreaking, mysterious, and so full of love. This is an album, every time I listen to it (because no matter how many times I listen to it, it never gets old, but is always new, like love), that it fills me with every emotion known to man and nothing contradicts. It draws out in me a longing that the Germans call sehnsucht. It’s like trying to remember the best dream in the world, but failing, having the perfect thought or realization, but being unable to wrap your mind around it or put it into practice, or the way you feel when you remember what it was like to look into the eyes of your loved one who is now gone, for whatever reason.

This album represents everything that is beautiful to me – about finding beauty in the unexpected. It’s like I realize that life doesn’t make sense, and that’s okay for some weird reason. I think, most of all, it reminds me of childhood, when we were too young to realize that our dreams were impossible, and because of this, they were possible. I remember, when I was a child, I liked to try to write books and draw pictures and pretend, and everything was fresh and new – where the forest by my house, probably just an acre in size, might as well have been the dark forest of ancient Germany that would take days to explore and tromp around in. It reminds me of my first loves, my first crushes, the awkwardness and beauty of growing up, the tragedy of growing up, and the slow pains of what it is to lose your childhood and innocence, and the loss of pure friendships, which seem to become harder and harder to find as one grows older (when one’s heart grows colder, and when you can’t see that it’s still alive).

That’s what Funeral is to me. It’s like when you grow up and become an adult, there’s a funeral held for your childhood, and you’re the only one that’s invited, looking at your coffin being carried out by the ghosts of your dreams, which are buried with it. Society expects you to put away your childhood and be the perfect adult, and not do anything “childish,” like pretend, love, or laugh too much, or blow milk out of your nose for fun, or what have you, so you can become crotchety old man or woman who frowns upon young upstarts who do the same thing. But in Arcade Fire and with Funeral, there is this duality of joy and loss, of remembering childhood and all its possibilities, and looking back and realizing that things can never be the same. It’s like how the greatest misery is rehearsing memories of happiness , realizing that all those things you were no longer are. I love this album, and within each song, so brilliantly written and executed, I hear echoes of the human soul that is evident throughout all ages, of our struggles and beauty, longings, and love.

Funeral, to me, is a reminder that life is as beautiful and lovely as it is sad. It is not one, or the other, but both. What’s weird is I have all these impressions, and I’ve only been listening to this for a short while (perhaps a month or two). This is one of those rare albums where I love every song – I have no favorite, and each speaks to me in a different way. From the excitement of Neighborhood 1, to learning how to try (for all your life), I love this album. That is all I can say. What’s strange is – I have yet to listen to anything else by Arcade Fire – and even if I never did for the rest of my life, I would be completely happy knowing this album. It’s like when I listen to it, I’m drunk on it, and is a complete and utter eargasm (nay – a DOUBLE eargasm). Yeah. That’s right.

On that note…yeah! I don’t just love this album – I’m in love with it. And I hope the magic never fades.


Joy Division – Heart and Soul (Part 2 of 2)

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Walk in silence

Don’t walk away, in silence

See the danger

Always danger

Endless talking

Life rebuilding

Don’t walk away


Joy Division, 1979

I come here to write part two, very tired. It’s almost hard to bring myself to write about Joy Division again, mainly because it is such a heavy story. There’s no way to make light of it. I feel like I touched on all the main points in part one about the band itself. So in this part, I think I will just talk my favorite songs.

Joy Division are unparalleled in creating an atmosphere. The song of the same title, quoted at the top, is one of my favorites by them. It stands out to me, because it is composed in a major key – offering what seems to be the only glimmer of hope in all of Curtis’s lyrics. But, after listening to it, I don’t know if there is any hope at all in it. It’s like two spirits are speaking through it – one of depression, the other of mania.

From Closer, my favorites are probably in the latter half of the album: “Heart and Soul,” “Twenty four hours,” “The eternal,” and “Decades.”

“Heart and Soul” has one of the most killer basslines of any song I’ve ever heard, and if anything, sharpens the intensity and introspection that is the Closer album. The lyrics, especially the second verse, is like being doused in cold water, over and over.

“An abyss that laughs at creation

a circus complete with all fools

Foundations that lasted the ages

Then ripped apart at their roots

Beyond all this good is the terror

The grip of a mercenary hand

When savagery turns all good reason

There’s no turning back, no last stand

Heart and soul, one will burn.”

“Heart and Soul”

If “Heart and Soul” is the cold abyss, then “Twenty four hours” is the fire. In no other song are Joy Division more frenzied, desperate, and shattering than this one. It is interspersed with valleys and exploding mountains of sound, and the constant riffage or the guitar and bass dig at you.

“So this is permanence, love’s shattered pride

What once was innocence, turned on its side

A cloud hangs over me, marks every move

Deep in the memory, of what once was love”

“Twenty four hours”

Closer (1980)

For a while, the following song on the album, “The eternal,” was my favorite Joy Division song. The piano riffing is like something out of a horror film – only the horror isn’t the physical, but the emotional in spirit – a horror on the inside that can never be outrun. This song is the epitome of disconnect – like you are a spirit standing outside your body, watching it die as falling leaves bury it. Wow – that was very dark. Very, very dark. I’m almost embarrassed. Ahem. Anyway, shall we move on?

“No words could explain, no actions determine

Just watching the trees and the leaves as they fall”

“The eternal”

I won’t talk about “Decades”, the final song of Closer, other than that it is a very good song that took a while to grow on me, and that you should listen to it.

“We knocked on the door of Hell’s darker chamber

Pushed to the limit, we dragged ourselves in

Watched from the wings as the scenes were replaying

We saw ourselves now as we never had seen

Portrayal of the trauma and degeneration

The sorrows we suffered and never were free

Where have they been?

Where have they been?

Where have they been?

Where have they been?”


I could go on. As I touched on in part one, Joy Division is a band I will probably listen to for a long time – perhaps even the rest of my life (though most likely in seasons, and not constantly – I don’t think I could handle that). Songs such as “Disorder”, “Day of the Lords”, “Insight”, “New Dawn Fades”, “She’s Lost Control”, “Isolation”, and “Ceremony” will always live with me. I don’t know what it is about this band, about this era, that speaks to me so much. I feel like Ian is a guy who understood a lot – perhaps too much, and it got the better of him. It was like he was collecting weights all his life, and he bore them with a patient smile – until one day, the weights were too much. It’s very sad – unlike other music-related suicides (Kurt Cobain comes to mind), this one seems more tragic and I can’t place my finger on why. All the same, thank you, Ian, thank you, Joy Division, for the great music that will live on through the ages and inspire listeners and musicians alike to great things.

A last thing – getting the Heart and Soul boxed set is definitely worth it. Disc four is really, really interesting to check out in particular. Joy Division, at least to me, were a completely different group live than in the studio. They are more punk, and Ian’s intensity grabs you by the shoulder and shakes you. Even songs I wasn’t to keen on in the studio version are something else entirely in their live versions.

And now, for probably my favorite cover of all time. Because I just had to bring Radiohead into this.


Joy Division – Heart and Soul (Part 1 of 2)

Monday, May 7, 2012

“Say what you want, time never seems to corrupt the music of Joy Division: the actions, sensations, images, movement all seems to fit into the next moment, the noises and agitation, the courage and diligence, always seems to be happening for the first time. Their music so feverishly conjures up insecurity, malign gods, moral chaos, human lostness, caged energy, loss, shifting meaning and danger that it could never slip back into some cosy version of itself. It could never be stripped of its harrowing power because its crystallisation of moody form and seething content is so classic and universal.”

Paul Morley, “Listen to the Silence”

Unknown Pleasures (1979)

It was fall of 2008, and I was nineteen, when I took the plunge on a whim to buy the entire box set of Heart and Soul, which contained 81 songs, encapsulating most of Joy Division’s output – including alternate recordings and a live CD. I knew nothing of Joy Division then. I listened to a few songs when the set arrived, figured it wasn’t for me, and put it in a box, where it stayed for three years.

Flash forward to summer of 2011. I found the box while searching for something I can’t remember. I put disc two in my car stereo, and went straight to track seven – I knew “Atrocity Exhibition” to be the first song of Closer. What followed was one of those rare moments when you listen to a new album, a new band, and it instantly connects. I could not believe I had listened to this before, three years ago, and decided that it wasn’t for me. This album was me. Or so it seemed at the time.

I listened to Closer, over and over, knowing all the time that I was listening to some of the darkest moments in music I would ever hear. It was only after a while that I seemed to remember that there was this whole other album, Unknown Pleasures, waiting to be listened to.

“I’ve been waiting for a guide to come and take me by the hand

Could these sensations make me feel the pleasures of a normal man?

These sensations barely interest me for another day

I’ve got the spirit, lose the feeling, take the shock away – “


Ian Curtis’s lyrics were always deep, and once unraveled revealed sadness and loss. All I could think at the time was, “how depressing.” Yet I could not stop listening. There was something in the music that I connected to – perhaps the lostness, the questions, the wondering and wandering – with no answer to any of it, and resolving to live with that emptiness.

Musically, Joy Division are quite unique. The spine to their music was the bass. Always the bass. I’ve heard someone say that Joy Division is a bass player’s wet dream. The bass pounds through each song, without apology or frills. It carries the melody to its heights and depths of chaos, from subdued anger to exploding shock. The distorted guitar jangles, never taking over the bass, setting the atmosphere, painting the air for Curtis’s baritone vocals, always desperate, always frenzied, always earnest, always eerily calm and accepting of it all.

Though short-lived, you can hear their influence in U2’s Boy, and further down, Interpol’s Turn on the Bright Lights, among other artists, from Joy Division. They, in a large way, were a prototype for goth and eighties post-punk and that synthy eighties sound – and even when you delve into the darker corners of disc three, you hear traces of dance and techno in their tracks.

“Guess your dreams always end

They don’t rise up just descend

But I don’t care anymore

I’ve lost the will to want more”


Ian Curtis committed suicide in may of 1980, on the eve of the band’s first American tour. It seems senseless – but he suffered from epilepsy and depression, and had problems in his personal life and his health, both of which he sang about, albeit wrapped in layers. It’s hard to imagine what they would have done, had they made that third album – but what they did in three years most artists could not do in twenty.

None of the songs on Unknown Pleasures has hit me so hard as “New Dawn Fades” When Ian breaks out around minute three with “I’ve walked on water, I’ve run through fire, can’t seem to feel it anymore,” it gives me chills every time. It’s like being in space, watching the Earth distance itself as you fly off, never to return into the darkness. It is about losing touch with your humanity, your emotions, screaming and yet not being heard in the vacuum of your thoughts and internal world. I don’t know if that is what Ian was actually singing about – maybe it’s what I’m putting on him from my own life and thoughts. It is amazing to me that, after all these years, after he died eight years before I was even born, I can still know at least a part of who he was through Joy Division’s music.

Heart and Soul (1997)

In a way, Ian’s death might have set a false tone for the band, in that everyone looks back at all his songs and say it’s about suicide. There’s more to Ian and Joy Division than suicide, and there’s more to Joy Division that Ian Curtis. For me, it is the music that will live on. Twenty years from now, I will probably still listen to Joy Division. Twenty years from now, people will still listen to Joy Division and discover Ian and his honesty. Joy Division really are timeless – great music always transcends the time in which it was composed, even if it carries the trappings of that time. Perhaps more than any other band, Ian’s lyrics have given voice to things I have felt and wondered but never dared say aloud. I suspect that Joy Division is not easily understood by most (but I might be wrong about that), until you have understood yourself and the questions you ask – the questions that you know have no satisfying answer, no answer but poetic silence – a silence that can either calm you, or drive you mad. I don’t know why, but I sense that struggle in Joy Division – the struggle for meaning. It is very refreshing, and cleansing, in a way, that there is a band out there that gave words and music to that struggle so poignantly.

Joy Division – we were strangers for way too long.